Tag Archives: confidence coach

Have you ever made the correlation between how you invest your time and money in your marriage relationship with how you invest time and money in your business?

Last month I spoke to you about the Business of Marriage with the idea being you can use life lessons from your marriage that can cross over into your business as well. Today is another thought on that subject regarding investing.

Let’s say you “invest” in your marriage by buying an anniversary trip to Hawaii. By doing this you are investing in this trip with intentionality. You are also investing in your spouse and your relationship. And, you are creating value and longevity through positive experiences.

When you think about investing in your business are you thinking the same way? Are you thinking long term? Because we all know in our business that the greatest investments are the ones that pay off long term; not just a one off deal, but for the long term of your business.

This is just another way of looking at marriage, and then reversing it and asking how would this be really effective if I thought this way about my business and I invested in that for a lifetime for the long term.

Reach out if you’d like to talk with us about this. Schedule a free appointment today.


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The business of marriage is the idea of using lessons from your business life to help you in your marriage. And, using lessons and things you’ve learned in your marriage to help you in your business. 

I love talking about this because Orlena and I have been married for 40 years and we’ve been in business and worked together for the last 10. 

We have had many conversations about how we have learned different things from our business that we can apply to our marriage; and how we have learned different things from our marriage that we can apply to our business.

Business/Marriage

Here are a couple of things to think about that will help sharpen and make both your business and your marriage better. 

  1. In business you need to know your customer. You need to know their needs, what they like, and what they don’t like. You also need to know all the little details about them so that you can serve them well and they will stay a lifetime customer. 
  2. Well, that’s no different than what we’re talking about for a marriage. You need to look at your spouse and learn about them. You need to find out what makes them tick. Find out the things that are meaningful to them; the things that create value and build on that long term relationship. 
  3. How much time are you investing in your business? Let’s say you’re working 50-60 hours a week. When you do so, you expect a certain return, result or experience out of that. 
  4. So let’s flip that question around and ask how much time are you really investing in your marriage or your family? And are you investing in them with the idea that there’ll be a positive or good return out of that? 

It’s a different way of looking at your marriage, and it’s a different way of looking even at your business result. 

Where are you at in your business and your marriage these days? At Confidence Coach we are here to help business owners, entrepreneurs and CEOs to grow in their business and work, but our lives are not one dimensional, we all have a life outside of work. Are you putting as much time and effort into your marriage as you are your business? 

Reach out if you’d like to talk with us about this. Schedule a free appointment today.


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The halo effect is the tendency to think positively about a person based on just one aspect of their character. Which can lead the most successful people to get trapped by their own thinking.

Below are some ways the halo effect can influence you as a person or as a business owner in different ways in your life. 

  1. A couple of sayings around money:  Money doesn’t make you smart; wealthy people can easily confuse luck with skill.
  2. Prior success does not guarantee future success. 
  3. Intelligence is often situational and specific. 
  4. Highly Successful People rarely have anyone to challenge their thinking. They’re often times surrounded by “yes” people.

Just some thoughts about this. If you have customers, vendors, or partners, you have people in your life that you have put a halo over their head. It’s good to remember that we all put on our pants one leg at a time. And, each person, no matter who they are, struggles in at least one area of their life. 

Remember this when you are talking to a potential huge customer or you’re trying to close a deal or you’re seeking advice from your attorney, accountant or coach. Everybody has things that they struggle with; we’re all equal in that regard. These people have an area where they’re struggling and maybe you have a strength. Or vice versa, you’re struggling in an area that is their strength. 

The halo effect is something we all do with people. We put people on pedestals; think of American Idol, Survivor or some billionaires for example.

A good thing to always remember is that we are all equal in some areas, in other areas we have greater strengths, and in other areas we all share weaknesses. 

At Confidence Coach, we are here to help and encourage business owners, CEOs and entrepreneurs to build a better future. Feel free to reach out for a free consultation if you’d like to learn more about how we help people build their confidence and hope for a great future.


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Today’s blog comes out of a conversation with an owner thinking about the long term future. She was thinking about her role and what she really wants to do that would be exciting, interesting and keeps her curious with the business, their product and clients. 

This is what I did with her. I asked her “What isn’t interesting to you? What is boring or mundane to you?” I wanted her to get these things out of the way. Next I said, “What’s left?” She had five or six things left that she was actively doing in the business that she really cared about. 

Then I asked her to rank those things from 1 to 5. By ranking them 1-5 we actually found that one and two really connected and were kind of the same activity or same type of work. That’s when she discovered that’s what she would like to do as her main role 70-75% of the time in her business over the next 25 years. These things would keep her engaged, interested and contributing at a really high level. It was a fun exercise. 

It’s an exercise I think you should challenge yourself with. List out and eliminate all the things that aren’t interesting to you or that are boring and mundane. Then think about the one or two things in your business that would keep you interested, curious and engaged in your business at a very high level for the next 25 years.

Let me know what you came up with! We’ll talk to you soon.

At Confidence Coach we ask deep questions that help business owners, entrepreneurs, CEOs and leaders create breakthroughs. Schedule a free consultation today.


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Do you feel like you are a victim sometimes? We’ve all had bad things that happen to us. Are you still living in the past with those bad things and thoughts? And are you still acting and believing like you’re a victim? You need to change that now. 

Your identity is not that you’re a victim. 

I’d like to suggest that you find some people or even one person that is full of hope, full of vision and full of happiness. Then, you need to start being grateful and appreciate all that life has brought you so far.

When you start to do these things you’ll start to have hope. 

Appreciation brings hope.

And when you have hope, you will start to see and experience a vision for your life, for your business, for who you are to be in the world. 

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.” – Robert H. Schuller

My question for you today is are you still wearing the victim label? Step out today and associate with others that are full of hope.

When you have hope, you can change what you thought was a victim into a victor! 

At Confidence Coach, we are here to help and encourage you to build a better future. Feel free to reach out for a free consultation if you’d like to learn more about how we help people build their confidence and hope for a great future.


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Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a graveyard on every tombstone there’s a date the person was born and a date the person died and in between there’s a dash. 

Well, to me that “dash” is really your life. 

My question to you today is what are you going to do with your dash? 

What do you want your life story to be?

What do you want the legacy, impression, influence or impact to be with your dash?

We all think that our last day’s not coming, but we all know in our heart of hearts and mind of minds that our last day is coming.

My challenge to you today is to start living in your dash.


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When there is a hill to climb, don’t think waiting will make it smaller. 

What I’m talking about here is the fact that we all have hills to climb. We all have challenges and obstacles, hard things, difficult choices and work that we have to do.

But what I want you to know is that there is nothing to be benefited by waiting. Other than to make the hill seem bigger or the challenge harder.

You need to build on your bravery! When it comes to those hills, what I want you to do is to put on your bravery, put on your best courage and commitment. Challenge that hill and attack it immediately. Do not put it off.

Today really is about the hills in your life and the bravery and the muscle that you’re gaining by heading straight for the hill.

Remember: when there’s a hill to climb, don’t think waiting will make it smaller. Take it on. You’ve got this!

 


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Today I just want to present an insight about being vulnerable that I’ve been experiencing with coaching and leadership recently. In the past, I’ve tried to hide my challenges or mistakes, my being dyslexic and all that comes with that. But in the last year or so, I’ve been being vulnerable and shared my life story. I’ve discovered that sharing about my dyslexia, my failures, my need to learn, my not knowing all the answers, my listening to other people, and being transparent about my history has helped me to lead people to discover their own strengths and breakthroughs. 

I’ve been on quite a few podcasts in the last few months, done some Facebook Lives, been interviewed and also been on a bunch of webinars. Being transparent, I’ve shared that I’m dyslexic and was told that I was stupid and would never be anything by my first grade teacher. I  dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide as a young 7-8-9 year old kid. But I realized there was hope and a light around this situation. I had people that believed in me and found that God cared about me. That my life mattered and that there was a plan for me. I’ve just been really vulnerable and really pushing the envelope about my life.

As most of you know, I work with business owners and I always felt like I couldn’t go too far in sharing my past because it might be too much for them to handle. But as I’ve started to tell the whole story, the response has been amazing and phenomenal. Much to my pleasant surprise, people are buying my book “The Biggest Disability is a Bad Attitude” and booking me to speak to their groups.

Something I’m learning is that people, companies, business leaders, and employees are desperate for authentic transparency. They want real people, not Photoshop or social media that says everything is great all the time. 

There’s such a hunger for the reality of someone’s life and to have a person open up enough to admit where they’ve gone wrong, say what really happened and even share the consequences. For example — here’s what happened when we lost a lawsuit; here’s what happened when we did this or that. 

I’ve realized the power of being vulnerable in sharing these things. A coach and leader who is real and vulnerable gives people hope. It also helps people in return be vulnerable and open with me so I can help them in an even deeper way; it creates for them insights, breakthroughs, transformation and miracles. But this all starts with me setting the example. 

I’m challenging you as a leader to be vulnerable. Be honest with people. Share the experiences you have had – the good, the bad, the ugly, the in-between, the successes, and the failures. 

The more you do this, the more people will gravitate to you and want to follow you. People will want to listen, learn and then follow whatever the vision or mission you have for your business or your company. 

But I challenge you to put on vulnerability and transparency of who you really are – show up as yourself. 

That’s my challenge:  Show Up As Yourself! 

Tell the true story. Get into the details of it.

Watch people around you react in a way that both positive and meaningful. Then watch your ability as a leader multiply.

Schedule a free consultation if you’d like to talk more about this. 


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A goal is not just about what you achieve, it’s about who you become in the process.

Today I just want to say three quick things about the above statement. If you’re like most of our clients, I know you are very goal driven. That is wonderful, but there’s another side to achieving goals and that is it’s not just about the achievement, but about who you’re becoming as you achieve your goal.

Stop for a second and think about your biggest goal. Think about these three questions.

  1. While I’m in the process of reaching my goal, who am I becoming along the way as I’m achieving it?
  2. Is this goal in line with who and where I want to be 5, 10, or 20 years from now? Is it actually creating in me the behaviors, the values, the insight, the things that I want to be 20 years from now?
  3. What conscious choices am I going to make today about my goal that align with who I want to be in the future?

At Confidence Coach, we are here to support and encourage you as you achieve your dreams, goals and aspirations. Feel free to schedule a free consultation.

 

 

 


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Today I just want to talk a little bit about and give you some tools as an owner or leader of how to connect, care and create an improved and better relationship with your employees.

These are soft skills that don’t often get talked about. They aren’t taught in school or in an MBA program nor are they focused on a lot anywhere else. But we’ve seen when they are used in the right way, they are powerful.

  1. Connect with Employees

The first tool that we use is “connect.” A lot of owners have told me over the years that they aren’t sure how to have a conversation with a new employee or somebody that they don’t seemingly have much in common with. I have a simple tool that I teach them how to have a five-minute conversation based on FORM. It’s an old insurance adage to get to know somebody. What FORM stands for is: Family, Occupation, Recreation, Message. Here’s some sample questions:  Do you have family? What was your job before you came here? What work were you doing before you came here? What do you like to do for fun? Then the message part can go something like this: “We’re so glad you’re here, and now that I know more about you, I’m excited to go deeper with that.” Use this simple “form” to connect with an employee. It’s very simple and only takes a couple of minutes.

  1. Care Through Listening

The best way for owners or leaders to connect with their managers or supervisors is to ask them a question and then listen deeply to their answer. Don’t interrupt, wait until they are done talking so they feel they are truly heard. When people feel like they’re heard, they feel like they’re connected to you and that you really care.

The second step to caring is to listen. This is almost a lost art in our society today. But listen, take a couple of minutes and really listen deeply to people in your organization.

  1. Create

The third step is to take the time to create an ongoing relationship with the people that work on our team as individuals. The fastest and simplest way to do this is find something that they care about. Maybe it’s something work related, it could be family, something they do for fun, or perhaps a hobby or an organization/cause that they care deeply about. Find a connection there and care about it also. Ask them questions about it or what’s happening around this situation, what progress are they making, is there some way you might support the thing they care most about. This is a great way to create a connection.

These are the three C’s that we use and teach about that are really effective connecting tools. Use “form”, care and listen deeply, and then create a connection around something they are care deeply about that you can also care about or talk with them about on an ongoing basis.

Hope you find this helpful and useful today. Let us know at Confidence Coach if you’d like more information and suggestions on how to connect, care and create a great relationship with the people in your organization.

 


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