Tag Archives: confidence coach

Today I just want to present an insight about being vulnerable that I’ve been experiencing with coaching and leadership recently. In the past, I’ve tried to hide my challenges or mistakes, my being dyslexic and all that comes with that. But in the last year or so, I’ve been being vulnerable and shared my life story. I’ve discovered that sharing about my dyslexia, my failures, my need to learn, my not knowing all the answers, my listening to other people, and being transparent about my history has helped me to lead people to discover their own strengths and breakthroughs. 

I’ve been on quite a few podcasts in the last few months, done some Facebook Lives, been interviewed and also been on a bunch of webinars. Being transparent, I’ve shared that I’m dyslexic and was told that I was stupid and would never be anything by my first grade teacher. I  dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide as a young 7-8-9 year old kid. But I realized there was hope and a light around this situation. I had people that believed in me and found that God cared about me. That my life mattered and that there was a plan for me. I’ve just been really vulnerable and really pushing the envelope about my life.

As most of you know, I work with business owners and I always felt like I couldn’t go too far in sharing my past because it might be too much for them to handle. But as I’ve started to tell the whole story, the response has been amazing and phenomenal. Much to my pleasant surprise, people are buying my book “The Biggest Disability is a Bad Attitude” and booking me to speak to their groups.

Something I’m learning is that people, companies, business leaders, and employees are desperate for authentic transparency. They want real people, not Photoshop or social media that says everything is great all the time. 

There’s such a hunger for the reality of someone’s life and to have a person open up enough to admit where they’ve gone wrong, say what really happened and even share the consequences. For example — here’s what happened when we lost a lawsuit; here’s what happened when we did this or that. 

I’ve realized the power of being vulnerable in sharing these things. A coach and leader who is real and vulnerable gives people hope. It also helps people in return be vulnerable and open with me so I can help them in an even deeper way; it creates for them insights, breakthroughs, transformation and miracles. But this all starts with me setting the example. 

I’m challenging you as a leader to be vulnerable. Be honest with people. Share the experiences you have had – the good, the bad, the ugly, the in-between, the successes, and the failures. 

The more you do this, the more people will gravitate to you and want to follow you. People will want to listen, learn and then follow whatever the vision or mission you have for your business or your company. 

But I challenge you to put on vulnerability and transparency of who you really are – show up as yourself. 

That’s my challenge:  Show Up As Yourself! 

Tell the true story. Get into the details of it.

Watch people around you react in a way that both positive and meaningful. Then watch your ability as a leader multiply.

Schedule a free consultation if you’d like to talk more about this. 


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A goal is not just about what you achieve, it’s about who you become in the process.

Today I just want to say three quick things about the above statement. If you’re like most of our clients, I know you are very goal driven. That is wonderful, but there’s another side to achieving goals and that is it’s not just about the achievement, but about who you’re becoming as you achieve your goal.

Stop for a second and think about your biggest goal. Think about these three questions.

  1. While I’m in the process of reaching my goal, who am I becoming along the way as I’m achieving it?
  2. Is this goal in line with who and where I want to be 5, 10, or 20 years from now? Is it actually creating in me the behaviors, the values, the insight, the things that I want to be 20 years from now?
  3. What conscious choices am I going to make today about my goal that align with who I want to be in the future?

At Confidence Coach, we are here to support and encourage you as you achieve your dreams, goals and aspirations. Feel free to schedule a free consultation.

 

 

 


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Today I just want to talk a little bit about and give you some tools as an owner or leader of how to connect, care and create an improved and better relationship with your employees.

These are soft skills that don’t often get talked about. They aren’t taught in school or in an MBA program nor are they focused on a lot anywhere else. But we’ve seen when they are used in the right way, they are powerful.

  1. Connect with Employees

The first tool that we use is “connect.” A lot of owners have told me over the years that they aren’t sure how to have a conversation with a new employee or somebody that they don’t seemingly have much in common with. I have a simple tool that I teach them how to have a five-minute conversation based on FORM. It’s an old insurance adage to get to know somebody. What FORM stands for is: Family, Occupation, Recreation, Message. Here’s some sample questions:  Do you have family? What was your job before you came here? What work were you doing before you came here? What do you like to do for fun? Then the message part can go something like this: “We’re so glad you’re here, and now that I know more about you, I’m excited to go deeper with that.” Use this simple “form” to connect with an employee. It’s very simple and only takes a couple of minutes.

  1. Care Through Listening

The best way for owners or leaders to connect with their managers or supervisors is to ask them a question and then listen deeply to their answer. Don’t interrupt, wait until they are done talking so they feel they are truly heard. When people feel like they’re heard, they feel like they’re connected to you and that you really care.

The second step to caring is to listen. This is almost a lost art in our society today. But listen, take a couple of minutes and really listen deeply to people in your organization.

  1. Create

The third step is to take the time to create an ongoing relationship with the people that work on our team as individuals. The fastest and simplest way to do this is find something that they care about. Maybe it’s something work related, it could be family, something they do for fun, or perhaps a hobby or an organization/cause that they care deeply about. Find a connection there and care about it also. Ask them questions about it or what’s happening around this situation, what progress are they making, is there some way you might support the thing they care most about. This is a great way to create a connection.

These are the three C’s that we use and teach about that are really effective connecting tools. Use “form”, care and listen deeply, and then create a connection around something they are care deeply about that you can also care about or talk with them about on an ongoing basis.

Hope you find this helpful and useful today. Let us know at Confidence Coach if you’d like more information and suggestions on how to connect, care and create a great relationship with the people in your organization.

 


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Are you a battery charging station or are you a drain on the people that you work with?

Are people more energized, encouraged, lifted up, challenged or confident after they are with you?

Let’s step back and ask this question:  Who and how do your batteries get charged?

Here are some simple ways to start charging other people’s batteries:

  1. Encouraging words.
  2. A smile.
  3. A sincere compliment about something about the person.
  4. Listening100% to what they’re saying, how they’re saying it, and the words that they’re using.
  5. Look for times to give other people credit for a job well done.

Reach out today and schedule a free call if you’d like to talk more about this and learn other ways to change and improve your mindset and keep your batteries fully charged!!


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Most entrepreneurs, business owners, and leaders begin their day with a “to do” list of what they have to get done that day in their life and business. Maybe it’s a list of all the responsibilities that have to be taken care of. Either way, this can be burdensome and a tough way to start the day and gain momentum. 

I’d like to suggest you test and experiment with an idea I have around changing the words from “I have to” to “I get to.” Instead of saying “I have to” do accounting today say “I get to” do accounting today. Change from “I have to” make sales calls today and rephrase it to “I get to” make sales calls today. You get the idea!! 

Instead of telling yourself “I have to” hire someone today, say “I get to” hire someone today. Change the phraseology of having to do something to you get to do something. Those three little words of “I get to” will change your thinking, change your attitude, and also tremendously change your energy as you proceed throughout the day. 

Most people view their “to do” list as an “I have to” list. Instead, call it your “I Get To” list!!

My challenge for you is to change the “I have to’s” that you have on your to do list to “I get to’s” and see what effect it as on your results. I think the volume of work you get done will increase as well as the amount of things you accomplish.

Make the great exchange from “I have to” to “I get to.”

Reach out today and schedule a free call if you’d like to talk more about this and other ways to change and improve your mindset. 


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Your job as the business owner, CEO, manager, or HR director is to create leaders. Leaders are people that have confidence, courage, and capabilities to lead in their job, their department and in the company. But my question to you is, are you actually creating an environment where you’re creating leaders or are you creating an environment where you’re creating followers? Are you creating followers that have been given no responsibility, no opportunities, no courage or confidence to learn how to lead? 

The goal for you as a business owner is to create leaders, because as your people become leaders, your business becomes all that you hoped and dreamed it would be. In order to do this though, you have to focus on creating leaders out of your team and your employees. You have to start taking the steps to teach them, give them opportunities and show them what it means to lead in their job, in their work, with their co-workers, in their department and within the company. 

My challenge and question to you today is:  Are you creating leaders or followers? 

Make it a great day.


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Here’s a winning combination for your Thanksgiving dinner (no matter how big or small your gathering is this year).

Incorporate Gratitude along with the Circle of Encouragement. If you haven’t heard me talk about the Circle of Encouragement before here is a short explanation.

When you are all gathered together in a circle, have one person start by turning to the person on their right and saying a word of encouragement or something they are grateful for about that person. Then that person does the same to the person next to them. Keep going around the circle til everyone gets a chance to be encouraged.

After you get back to the person who started, switch and now go the other direction and do the same thing. I guarantee everyone will feel special and you will all be blessed by giving and receiving these words of encouragement. 

We hope this will truly make your Thanksgiving Day a special day to remember with those that you love.

Happy Thanksgiving from our house to yours!


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My new airline is Zoom.

I’ve been using Zoom for five years now in our coaching practice. It enables me to coach people across the country. And, since the advent of COVID, all my team meetings and coaching are all done 100% on Zoom.

It has made my life wonderful and amazing. No more 4 a.m. trips to get to the airport on time and no more late nights getting in. It’s also eliminated having to deal with the unfriendliness of a lot of the airlines and all their requirements. Now I have the luxury of meeting from my home office — hassle free! 

Using Zoom has also helped me save a lot of time and money. I have converted that extra time into investing in other areas of my life such as my relationships, family, faith, time to take care of myself and time with my beautiful bride of going on 40 years.

So the new airline, the new transportation system for the world is Zoom. This is just a thought I wanted to share with you about my transportation and my virtual airline that I have been excited to utilize.

I’m interested to hear how you are using Zoom to be more effective, to create more value, and to make more of an impact. Has it increased the quality of your life, your self care, and those types of things?

Thought for the Day:  I’m a frequent flyer million mile plus Zoom passenger and I love it. I’d love to hear your comments. At Confidence Coach we are here to offer business owners a place to connect, build their confidence and a better future.


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In this day and age, if you are a business owner, you are resilient! Congratulations!  

Now, I want you to stop and think for a minute about what made you start your business. Was it a life-long dream that you had to work for yourself? Were you motivated by having the dream of freedom of time and money? Did you want to be your own boss and not have anyone else tell you what to do or when to do it? Did you have this great idea and wanted to share it with the world?

Whatever reason you started your business, are you still as excited about it?

If you aren’t and you find this year has been one of your greatest challenges, that’s okay. You’re not alone. This year has been challenging for everyone. And I want to remind you again that you are resilient. You are a survivor.

Remember to go back to your “why” you started the business and recapture and bring your dream to life again. 

Think about all the ways that you may have pivoted this year to renovate, recreate, revise or restore your business. These are things to be proud of. 

Your dream is worth fighting for. Your team and the people that work for you are worth fighting for. 

No one ever said being an entrepreneur or business owner was going to be easy. But being easy is overrated. It’s staying in the game and fighting for what you want and love that really matters.

I salute you for hanging in there and still living out your dreams and goals. 

Go back and think about the power of the motivation your goal gave you to start the business. Your goal was not only to start it — but to make it successful and profitable, to build a team, and to create value in the marketplace. Your goal gave you determination and focus that has carried you to where you are today. 

Keep going. You’ve got this!!

At Confidence Coach we are here to offer business owners a place to reconnect and rebuild their confidence; which leads to their better future in the days and years ahead. Reach out today and schedule a free call if you’d like to talk. We are here to help and encourage you.


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As a leader, here are some questions you should be asking your team members on a regular (or even daily) basis to lead them in the right direction. These questions will promote a positive focus that your team needs from you during these difficult times. When you lead with enthusiasm and a positive attitude, it helps propel everyone forward in that direction too. You set the tone.

  1. What’s going right?
  2. What’s working?
  3. What can we build on?
  4. What’s possible now?
  5. What is the seed of opportunity in this difficult time? 
  6. What are your wins today?
  7. What have you learned today that you can apply tomorrow?

At Confidence Coach, we focus on the positive and want to help you do the same. If you need help in leading and encouraging your team, reach out to us. I wrote an article some time ago called Start Your Meetings with Wins. This is a great example of how to lead your team. We’ve got plenty more examples where that came from. So, if you’d like some help, go ahead and schedule a free consultation now.


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